November 5, 2009, Nidal Malik Hasan killed 13 soldiers at Fort Hood in Killeen Texas.  For months if not years I have puzzled over Obama’s almost meniacal insistence that event’s like those at Fort Hood were nothing more than “workplace violence”.  Clearly Fort Hood was not simply workplace violence, it was Islamic terrorism.  The shooter spoke to clerics about jihad, he cried out allahu akbar as he shot innocent soldiers for reasons related to Islam, not for reasons related to his workplace.  Yet the Obama administration continues to insist Fort Hood was only workplace violence.  Ask why?  Why would Obama’s administration insist that an event be characterized as workplace violence rather than what it actually was… which was terrorism.  I ask myself why and have come to the conclusion Obama needs to avoid characterizing any event as terrorism in order to continue to push his gun control agenda.  Every shooting that occurs, Obama pulls out the gun control rhetoric.  Why you ask?  Terrorism would support more guns in circulation as citizens armed themselves to protect themselves; whereas, workplace violence would cause the opposite.  Workplace violence or any shooting that is domestic and unrelated to terrorism would suggest we need to control the possession of guns in order to prevent more shootings.  Aha… the motive, means and opportunity to control guns.  It’s sad that everything in Washington has a hidden agenda.  I just found Obama’s hidden agenda.  If I am wrong, tell me where!

Statistics overwhelmingly show that minivans and their drivers are a major source of traffic jams in most cities across the United States.  It took two years and several million dollars to conduct the study in an effort to better understand traffic congestion.  Minivans are typically driven by women with young children.  This concoction of crying babies, screaming kids and confused and dazed woman drivers has been found to cause women to drive absurdly slow on interstates, to drive in the wrong lanes, to hit their brakes randomly and seemingly for no reason, to swerve in and out of lanes, to not pay attention to traffic signals, and found to signal right and go left among the more common but by no means comprehensive list of driving habits observed by researchers.  And in even more alarming news the Federal government is studying whether to subsidize purchases of minivans for women with at least 2 children under 5.  “People for the ethical treatment of men” (PETOM) has voiced strong opposition to government subsidies and has launched a national campaign to ban minivans driven by women regardless of number of children.  As it turns out, the number of children being driven by women has no effect on accidents, traffic congestion, and cursing followed by fist pumps by men.  For more details go to PETOM’s website.  Donations are encouraged to support legislation to ban women driving minivans.

My top 10 most aggravating cliches’.

10.) You know – No I don’t know unless you tell me.

9.) I Mean – You mean what?  Without more explanation I have no idea what you mean.  And often more explanation only clouds the issue

8.) Frankly – I have no idea why people say this.  Most of the time Frank has nothing to do with it.  And further there’s nothing particularly frank about what is said thereafter.

7.) At the end of the day – What exactly does a day have to do with anything being said.  A more intelligent cliché might be “when it’s all done”.

6.) If you will… – the use of this one really stumps me. Definition – “If you will, meaning if you will allow me to use this phrase, is a hedge phrase, and it could usually be removed. Writers often use it to apologize for a weak phrase—often a bad metaphor, a corny coinage, or a phrase the writer is reluctant to use if you will. Stop it.

5.) Time will tell – Oh really

4.) Nails on a chalk board

3.) With friends like that, who needs enemies

2.) Don’t bite the hand that feeds you

1.) It is what it is – What the hell does this mean. Of course it is what it is…. what else would it be.

There literally dozens of cliché used by people to convey ideas.  But some of the above need to be traded in for new clichés.  There are far better cliches. Some of my list are not necessarily clichés but are worn out nonetheless.

I am not even sure where to start as there is so much proof of my premise.  But I will list just a few.

1.) Lawsuits take years to get a verdict regardless of whether civil or criminal

2.) Lawsuits are not about fairness, rather they are about rules or legal precedent.  Most people think the law will protect them because their situation is based on fairness…  WRONG.  Rules just like in Monopoly, are what Judges use to determine outcome of case, not fairness

3.) Juries can nullify the law as in the OJ Simpson case or the Robert Blake case.  Of course we all know OJ was guilty… the evidence lacked only a video tape, but all the other evidence fit like a glove, no pun intended.

4.) If you have a legal matter to deal with you NEED a lawyer or the Court will filet your ass.  This is especially true in traffic Court.  I always take a lawyer to everything but a parking ticket.  And I always win.  Is that fair… no, but rules are rules.

5.) Unlike England, in the United States each party pays its own legal bills.  So a plaintiff may not have the resources to fight their case.  So the defendant in a civil case… with deeper pockets wins, and the plaintiff is out their legal fees.  This bassackwards approach causes the aggrieved little guy, to simply forgo his legal rights for lack of money.  In England the losing party pays the winner’s legal fees.  This prevents most  lawsuits from ever going to Court, instead they settle out of Court.

6.) Lawyers charge egregious fees for services.  Their time can’t be of greater value than a primary care doctor’s, but they the marketplace seems to suggest that.  I ask, which is more important?  Hard to say if you are staring down the barrel of an FBI .45 metaphorically.

7.) Juries no longer accept reasonable doubt as a standard for guilt.  It strikes me that only video tape these days is sufficient.  So you could say the juries want a standard that eliminates all doubt… which is not the legal standard.

8.) Lawsuits particularly civil suits last on average 3 years.  Yes 3 years.  And during those 3 years you are raped financially by your lawyer.

9.)  The Supreme Court has become political rather the final arbiter of a legal issue.  Their lifetime appointment especially if appointed young is no longer rational.  I would like to see people get 12 years.  At 12 years there is some new blood with new that presumably would interpret law based on the actual law and not politics.

10.) Tort reform is desperately needed to stem the absurd jury awards.  Tort reform would lower insurance rates for all of us, particularly in healthcare.

Sure I am bitching about the obvious in many cases.  But this is my blog, and legally I have the right to say whatever I want according to the Constitution.  I welcome your observations and feedback

1. You’ve got the shitz
2. You piss your pants all the time
3. You have to run to toilet to piss all the time and sometimes when you are hangin out with your gay friends you have to interrupt your badminton tournament to piss, but then it is only a weak piss, so you have to go again later in the match.  Basically you piss inconsistently.
4. You have dingle berries
5. You have a burning and itchy anus
6. You have difficulty taking a shit… i.e. your stool is hard
7. You have a limp dick
8. You are farting all the time plus the shitz
9. you are bloated, plus farts and shitz
10. You have problems with your prostate being enlarged so go to your doctor so he can stick fingers up your ass to see if it cancer or some other fuckin disgusting problem
11. I don’t even want to list all the fuckin women bullshit disgusting commercials…